The Source of Our Woes
by Vini ‘The Vin’ Chopra
01.13.06—Paarag Marathe. When one utters these words, most 49er fans have no idea whether that person is referring to a new karate move, a foreign film, a sexual position, or let alone the 49ers’ President of Football Operations. Yet, there he exists, in some overly large office at 4949 Centennial Boulevard, probably next to his best friend and team owner John York. Over the past five years, to say that the 49ers have not operated under their championship or bust ways is the understatement of the decade. From horror stories such as conserving Gatorade bottles at team practices to not inviting players’ families to the annual team Christmas party, the word ‘cheap’ has been uttered frequently by angry 49er fans. Much of those words are directed at John York, but by giving into fan demands and cleaning house last year, York proved that an NFL owner must operate under the close eye of the ‘faithful.’ Yet, a stench still fills the team, and all of Mike Nolan’s efforts to claim that the 49er facility smells better aside, that stench is none other than Paarag Marathe—- not that exotic fish or sexual position, but the source of our team’s woes.
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Recently, in an interview with SF Weekly, Paarag Marathe responded to the criticisms of the few beat writers and watchful fans who do know his secret identity, and laugh at the fact that this is the man who tries to play ‘Moneyball’ and uses a computer to analyze players:
‘I believe it’d be half as bad if (my name) were Perry Martin. It’s a name you can pronounce. That would cut it in half. If I were white, it would cut it by another quarter. If I were 10 years older, it would cut it by another 10 percent. The thing is, I’ll never be a football guy, even when I’m 45 or 50. I’ll never be a football guy.’
Okay Marathe, where does a faithful 49er fan who has followed the team passionately and shares the same race you do even begin to criticize you on this debacle of a statement? I think I’m going to skip past the racial bigotry here, because the 49ers are not the most popular thing in Chinatown these days with the tape incident and all. All I have to say is that a man who pulls the race card to defend himself has nothing to say and no tenacity to prove his colleagues wrong in the forum where it counts—- football. And getting to football, as a 49er fan, is it not disturbing that our President of Football Operations stubbornly proclaims that he is not a football guy? Here’s the deal Marathe: You might be great at crunching numbers and that is probably why your homeboy Yorkie York keeps you around, but then become the team accountant. Do not masquerade as an ‘up and coming’ star in this league with that ironic and false title of Director of Football Operations when you have clearly said you have no admiration for football itself.
If you think that’s Marathe’s worst quote, then think again. A year or so ago, Marathe provided the faithful with an even more enlightening piece of advice:
‘The name of the game is not finding the best players, as conventional wisdom says, the name of the game is finding the best possible players for the lowest price. It’s just being smart about managing your money.’
Really Paarag? So you mean to tell me that an NFL Football Franchise should avoid the Jevon Kearse’s, Ray Lewis’, and Tom Brady’s of the league for guys like Derek Smith, Reggie Hayward, and Tim Rattay merely because of salary considerations? Even moreso, this philosophy of hunting the bargain bin for the cheapest players has worked out so wonderfully with our team right, with all the Kwame Harris’ and Rashaun Woods’ we draft?
The recipe for a successful franchise is actually very simple, despite Paarag Marathe’s misleading statement. A successful franchise takes dedication. It takes football guys, who live and breathe for the game, throw orgasms when they discover a new scheme or formation to shut down a player with, and take a moment to get to know their players. Paarag Marathe, no matter how much John York wants to talk him up as an ‘up and comer’ in the NFL, will never be that person. He’s a guy with a business suit, a tie, and knowledge of Windows XP and the latest edition of Microsoft Excel. He reads money saving strategies like Moneyball and has an elaborate, Matrix-like system of putting in players’ statistics to analyze them. But a true football guy, and there are likely many people reading this article who qualify as such moreso than Marathe ever will, knows that no computer, spreadsheet, or book can match a understanding of the game, measuring a players’ heart, and simply being a student of the game.
Recently, Mike Nolan has wanted to hire a football guy to help guide the organization, much to the dismay of Paarag Marathe because Marathe will lose some power this way. But take it from me Marathe and quit while you’re ahead. Go take your player ranking system and become a member of the BCS committee, get into accounting, play the stock market. But football? You have no business being in football, even if your name was Perry Martin.
Vin back here with a training camp report of Day 2 of training camp. This was the morning practice, open to the public:
Vin: Mr. Huff around the 49er community for the last few months there has been a lot of talk about bringing you in to help out the 49er defense. In what aspect do you think you’d benefit the 49ers, or any 
